Anyone who has spoken more than 3 words to me over the past couple of weeks knows of my excitement about a new program at my school called Green Dot. I'm honestly trying ridiculously hard to not scream in sheer happiness that this program exists because hey, I'm public and doing that will probably annoy the people in the coffee house I'm at.
Anyway, the reason I am excited about this is because of the premise behind the movement, which is to help reduce the numbers of violence on the UP campus and the surrounding community. More in depth information can be found on the university's website but here is the basic idea: for every case of violence (whether it be sexual assault of any kind, dating/partner, verbal, etc) that happens on campus or in the school community, a red dot appears. However, there are actions of intervention and prevention that can be taken, which are signified as green dots. The goal is outnumber the red dots with green dots.
A couple weeks ago, I had the chance to attend a Green Dot training, where I learned how to be a green dot bystander. Let me be honest - as excited as I am about this movement, getting up at 7am to make my way to a 7 hour training on a Saturday didn't seem to appealing to me. But boy oh boy. I am incredibly happy that I went. It was empowering, educational, and actually really fun. There were some fantastic people at the training and I seriously had an amazing time.
The reason why I am really excited for this movement is because I have had several friends be on the receiving end of sexual and partner violence. One friend told me of her experience of being raped during high school and I distinctly remember the night she told me about the event while crying and how years later, she is still carrying the pain with her. Even though I didn't know her back then and can't do anything to change the past, it still upsets me so much that the act of violence happened to her and that I can't fix it. I can try my best but I can't even imagine what it's like to pick up the pieces after a violent event.
The good news about my other friend was that I was able to help her (in the small ways I could) through ending the abusive relationship she was in during high school. I won't go into too many details (as even I am a bit fuzzy on everything) but during my freshman year of high school, she broke up with an abusive ex and let's just say he wasn't too keen on the idea. It took several months, multiple death threats towards both my friend and I, the police, and a restraining order to end contact with him. I still get shivers and moments of panic when I think of the months it took to finish everything and I wasn't even the person in the relationship. I cannot even imagine what my friend went through.
That is why I personally fight to outnumber the red dots. And, without knowing who you are dear reader, I can promise you right here and now that whether you know it or not, you have people in your life with similar stories. How do I know this? It's because sexual, dating/partner, and other types of violence are more common than we like to admit. According to the CDC, 1 in 4 women have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner while 1 in 7 men experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner. They also report that nearly 1 in 5 women and nearly 1 in 71 men have been raped in their lifetime. (This information, along with more facts and statistics can be found on the CDC Violence Prevention website and on the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey fact sheet.)
I'm almost finished with this post - I promise. One last thing of education and then some positive things that you can do! I remember having a brief conversation with an acquaintance several months ago about why those in abusive relationships don't just simply get up and leave. And while I could give my answer that comes from someone who hasn't personally be in an abusive relationship, I thought this TED talk by Leslie Morgan Steiner summed up everything I could ever say.
Okay, okay. This is officially the last bit I have before leaving you with all of this information. Now that you know about the Green Dot Movement, you've heard my stories and why I fight, and you've heard facts about how you probably know someone who has been in a red dot situation, it's your turn to do something. And the amazing thing is that you can! If you are a student or faculty member at the University of Portland, I really really encourage you to go to one of trainings provided over the next couple of months (even though it is 7 hours. I really do promise that it is so worth it). For those who do not go to UP, I really encourage you to see if there is a Green Dot program at your school or in your area. (I did a brief Google search and there are more campuses involved than I originally thought.)
We need to start making partner violence a community affair. We need to start caring for each other and lending a hand or some help to those who might not know where to go or what to do.
If you have any questions, need some help, or just need someone to talk to, do not hesitate to contact me. My email is merrill14@up.edu and I'm always here.
